Comms to XFoce

[xp_artie]

 ugggg

i am still in chicago for one more week.

it is balls curlingly cold here and i want to go hoooome but i am making progress with sarge

sarge sucks. like, really sucks but he knows a guy who knows a guy and i need to get jeff onside and since i don't want to shag him (he is straight and has some ... hygene issues) i have to talk to him. jeff has no friends. except me. i am his bestest friend and we're drinking a lot of sherry. 

sherry tastes like balls. 


sarge also has a pigeon problem. i just want to meet his friends but no, pigeons. he's all about talking to the pigeons. his power isn't even pigeons. he just really likes them. pigeons suck. so much. i want a new job. with no pigeons. 

uggg. 

Comments

[xp_cypher]

Worse avian: pigeons or seagulls.

Discuss.

[xp_artie]

PIGEONS

[xp_tarot]

Artie my goodness just pretend to mug a tourist, give Sarge and Jeff both cash for a motel and more alcohol. It solves your bird problem and the smell problem and you have been there long enough that I hope you have established that mugging a tourist would not be out of character.

[xp_artie]

FINE

i have been in and out on my houston-miami-nyc etc circuit but i'm wrapping this up.

[xp_tarot]

Good. If you get frostbite or ringworm you will be less efficient.

Do not come back smelling homeless please we have enough problems with wee in the elevator at the office.

[xp_daytripper]

We're in fucking downtown Manhattan. Why the hell do we have someone pissing in our elevator? Unless it's that arse who thinks we're some deep black pro-mutant conspiracy organisation.

It's totally that arse, isn't it?

[xp_tarot]

We are a deep black pro-mutant conspiracy organization. If we keep letting him wee in the elevator then he looks insane and not correct.

[xp_daytripper]

*sigh* I bet MI5 doesn't have to put up with this sort of bollocks.

[xp_tarot]

MI5 also does not get to ruin the lives of anti-mutant bigots.

Well, I suppose they do but they do not get to discuss it over tea.

[xp_changeling]

MI5 had entirely its own set of urine related issues to deal with, considering that their top brass came from Eton, a school designed to foster every kind of fetish imaginable in the inbred and morally bankrupt young. Moliere was a popular choice for school plays.

That being said, is it possible to get a Kelly girl in here? I've had UPS delivery people stick their heads in my office looking for someone to sign for a package, Maximoff's attempts at coffee are legally a war crime under the Geneva Conventions, and Sefton's handwriting makes most doctors signatures look like fine calligraphy. I nearly called assets in the Dominican from her last message that Domino called.

Look, I know I am tremendously old and thus, civilized office assets like good secretaries, receptionists and cartons of cigarettes stored in the Office Supply cupboard no longer exist, but can we find at least someone who can navigate a phone and a mail order out at that front desk with the crash button? If I'm going to be gunned down at my desk, I at least watch enough notice so I don't die with my face full of a pastry or something.