X-Factor Investigations

[xp_erverse]

Time to let the cat out of the bag: despite higher education being nothing more than a money-making scam for the intellectual elite who are not skilled in anything besides grifting young people, I completed a 4-year degree program in 2 years in December and as of yesterday am a licensed private investigator. And with a big fat inheritance after my father dropped dead a couple weeks ago, Lorna has accepted my offer to buy into X-Factor Investigations.

Congratulations, you're now my minions.

Expect the pay bumps to take effect next pay period, assuming this paperwork goes through. And No Pants Thursdays start tomorrow.

Comments

[xp_longshot]

We get paid?

Look at you, Q. Charitable and ambitious! I have never doubted you.

[xp_erverse]

Oh, Arthur, there's nothing charitable about this. Ambitious, surely. But no handouts. Just wait until you see the new hourly rate tiers I'm proposing. Most of our clients will be happy, but the ones who can afford to pay—and I mean really afford to—will not be pleased. They'll still come to us, though, because we're the best in the game.

And of course you get paid. Do you not know your bank account?

[xp_longshot]

Sure, I have one. Everyone has a bank account. Somewhere.

But let's imagine for a moment I might not have one.

[xp_erverse]

Well, someone has been receiving a direct deposit in your name. You should find where your money is. Congratulations, here's your first case under new management.